A Dulling Pencil

"Lie to me to my face please!" I don't know about you but this phrase has never come out of my mouth. I want people to tell me the truth. My friend lies and doesn't realize she is losing all the faith I once had in her. She'll never know because that is something I'll never tell her unless she specifically asks. If your reading this I hope you know that everytime you lie God and I keep a tally, and at some point we'll just stop because it will build up and you wont be worth our time any more. I write my tally with a pencil and when i make so many tallies that my pencil needs to be sharpened, I'm done. Just to let you know, my pencil is getting dull and honestly you didn't start out with a totally sharpened pencil. I know that was a long and somewhat boring analogy but thats how I feel at this point.

It's my friends birthday today and God I forgot how much I love doing fun things for others just to see them smile. I should do it more often, but like almost everyone else I know I get stuck in a rut that keeps me from it. I get selfish and dumb.

Sometimes I feel as though my words have no meaning because I say the same things over and over again hoping something will come of them. It reminds me of the definition of insanity "Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results." So apparently I'm insane.

From where I'm standing life seems almost clear...