"posty"

i am feeling very posty today but heres another one against my better judgement to stop writing.

being me is exhausting... not that I doubt being anyone else would take less energy... I think ive been silent for so long because I was insecure (still am) that I forgot how to speak. Truely...

phrase i hate the most rite now: "Just be yourself and it will be fine."
reason: the true me spends her time listening, observing, thinking, feeling alone, and silent and that isnt fine.

im scared that i will have something really imortant to say and i wont be able to do it not because i am scared but physically i forgot how.

recently talking to a friend i was asked how i was doing an my reply was this "oh u kno the normal feeling invisible, scared, happy, sad, angry, and depressed all wrapped up into a fantastic package i call myself"

how true.

almost done with this post i swear...

i just want to ask readers (if there are any) is being a fly on the wall always a good thing?

from where i'm standing posting seems to be the answer.

by the way posty is a word... and its mine!!!