frustration...

the last few posts have been short mostly because I am in that dark place again... well kinda... I am almost there. I have been working on reversing that but the only thing that makes me happy is sugar, but sugar doesnt really fit in when I am trying to lose weight... I am in a pickle... I want sugar to make me happy but sugar makes me fat which in return makes me unhappy, so i guess the choice is either depressed now or happy now/fat/depressed later... the choice may seem obvious but from where I'm standing happiness seems worth any price. I think I'll go with choice two for now but then again that is just how I feel at this moment.

i need to get creative again but I cant seem to do that while I am in summer mode... I almost want school to start because when my brain is working regularly I get the creative juices flowing. I need an outlet...

I have tried to write but because I am so out of practice that doesnt work>
I have tried physical excersize but i am too out of shape to do anything without feeling selfconcious (sp?).
I thought about midnight walks but the bugs are so bad this time of year I would come back as one swollen bug bite.

I am out of ideas... any suggestions?