waiting

in the back of a secret compartment that is in the back of the part of my mind that no one sees but me I admit to myself that I am scared of feeling real emotions. I admit that I like him but I force myself not to feel anything for him or take any action because if I do then I have to face my fear and that is just something I am not ready for. So until I can face my fears I am stuck in a spot that makes me feel nothing. I am alone in this comparment in my mind. Sometimes I listen to music there or read because it helps me pass the time while I wait to grow up enough to muster up the courage and face what I should and feel something, anything. Because if I feel anything then I can feel love for him, or whoever he is at when I get to that point in my life.

from where I'm standing I'm not sure if any of that made sense... but then again its the summer... so should I have to make sense?