What I want to see.

"Be who you want to be not what others want to see."

recently I came across this quote on a bumper sticker on facebook. I felt a complete connection to this. It seemed to describe the life I have been living. When I act out or say something funny am I just doing what others want to see?

Do I try to be funny so others will like me or am I that way because I am? Do I try to be understanding because thats what others need or am I really understanding? Who am I really. I think I am having an identity crisis.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I can't figure out who I am and that both scares me and excites me in the worst possible way. So not knowing who I am has not been great. I am scared that I will never know, that I will be forever scared of what I could be, and that I will never be confident enough to stand up for the person I want to become. I am excited because I can be whom ever I want, and because I can't be whom ever I want. Scared and excited I walk alone because I try to be myself and not do what others want and then I am considered stubbern and spoiled.

From where I'm standing life has become what others want to see instead of what I want to see.