eternal numbness?

I feel numb again but no suprise there... really did anyone think it would last. you change but then unless you are completely somewhere new the people you know pull you back into the person you were... again I cry for help even though it still doesnt feel right. And again no one is listening. I guess i could try harder but at the end of the day I still have over a year left before a change of scenery... "Be the change you wish to see in the world" how can I when the world refuses to change even after I do. I am going back to the way I was and only you can help me.