one moment at a time...

fighting the numbness I know so well is an everyday fight. I find that good music, friends, family, and God make the fight worth while. I want to be able to feel the groove of good music, the happiness of being around friends, and the love that both my family and God spill over me. I have made a decision to live my life with my fists up against that numbness that has found a home in my soul. I want to wake up and feel something happening within me. I want to be the person I want and the person God wants me to be. I think I am going to change even if it hurts something has to happen because the way I am living is not what anyone wants (except maybe the devil). I went to church today... for the first time inn over two years. Like I have been to youth group, and I've been to Sunday school when I need to be, but actual service its been a long while. Maybe if I change a little at a time soon everyone will forget that I was ever at this point where I spent the night crying myself to sleep. I want to be the perosn who no one knows what your thinking except they know its something good, I want to be mysterious to a point where I am still approachable.

From where I'm sanding looks like I have to start taking things day by day...